review copies

If you review picturebooks, let me know if you'd like an F&G (the picturebook equivalent to an advance reading copy) of LISSY'S FRIENDS. My editor at Viking (Hi Tracy!) just offered me up a handful and I'd love to hear what people think (of course if you don't like it, I don't mind if you want to be quiet, either...). Like I said, there's only an handful so let me know ASAP if you'd like one at graceatgracelindotcom (I hope you can figure that address out) or you can just leave a comment.

crutch

Many people discuss why they blog and what they blog about, always keeping their personal lives private and carefully choosing their topics like presents off a Christmas tree. I wish I could do that. But blogging has become my crutch, a precious outlet for me to vent without guilt, and a way for me to acknowledge my own existence. As the days blend together in hectic silence and worry, it's almost as if I disapear into a blackness of tea that has seeped too long. At those times, my cup overflows, yet I hesitate to serve such a bitter brew to friends and family. So, instead, I find myself offering this personal drink here, on this blog.

I hope you have your own cream and sugar.

preview

I posted this on the blue rose girls blog, but I thought pacyforest readers might want to see it too. This is a painting I recently finished for my "Bringing in the New Year" book. It is roughly 8x 30 inches, it is for a special 3 page spread/gatefold. The book will be published (if I get it all done in time, hopefully!) Jan or Feb of 2008.

Here's a detail of it:

And a closer detail of it. It took a long timeto do because I put pattern over pattern on everything:

hungry

Strange how small, microscopic specks consume so much. They ravage all joy available and leave behind frustration and worry like dung from a wild animal. As we starve for happiness, I fear we will become cannibals, turning on eachother. I look to the sky for something good to happen; for provisions on a parachute but it seems as if that plane has passed us by.

You get what you get and you don't get upset.

This is was what the teacher said to her second grade students today during my school visit (when she was passing out notebooks and one boy wanted a green one). I'd heard it before, but somehow it really struck me this time. A pretty good mantra for most things in life, now that I think about it.

little rabbit forever lost

Harry Horse, the author and illustrator of the "Little Rabbit" books has died, apparently due to a suicide pact with his wife. Mandy, suffered from MS and was confined to a wheelchair at the age of 39. More about it here.

This story really struck me. I hope they found the peace they wanted with death.

this just in...

Merrymakers, the manufacturers of the Lissy Doll, has just told me that they plan to add an origami kit with the the doll when it goes on to the market. How neat is that? Gee, I think this is getting way to cool for l'il mushroom me.

Hi Lissy!

Today, I received the revised prototype for the Lissy doll, and I heart it. They screened the jacket so that the pattern is just like the one I painted and they fixed the face as I wasn't happy with the first attempt:



The doll on the left was the first prototype, you can see how the new one (the one on the right) now actually looks Asian and just like my character.

I'm so excited. Can't wait for my birthday and the official release!

salt water

drop
by
drop
my tears cannot
fill a glass
that will quench
your thirst
but
maybe it can make
an ocean
so we can
sail
away

just don't leave without me

scarf envy

I've decided to take up knitting again. Two years ago when Robert was rediagnosed and waiting room sitting was routine, I taught myself how with internet instructions; it was strangely calming. Like our life, I could concentrate on one stitch at a time.

And for a while, I became a prolific knitter of scarves. Unfortunately, I didn't become a skilled knitter--I was never able to create anything more elaborate than my lumpy striped masterpieces.

But, after taking out my yarn again, I thought maybe I should start making some different kind of scarves, with different patterns or something. I looked on the internet for some inspiration.

And I found this scarf on Etsy:

Then I found these scarves, by a Twinkie Chan:



She also knits salad:


And (I've saved the best for last) CUPCAKES!!!

I'm so jealous! I want to knit cupcakes (and toast!). Somehow I think it might be beyond my knitting capabilities, though. At least for now...

waiting

Today was a day of waiting. Waiting for Robert to get tested, waiting to be called to the clinic, waiting for the doctor, waiting for the results, waiting for a treatment plan. And as I sat there, stomach sick and in a mind numbed state, I realize that the past 4 years of our life has been spent waiting—waiting for the chemo to be over, the surgery, the radiation—always waiting for that something great to happen, the big miracle, the green light that will allow us to live the rest our lives.

But it’s been a long traffic stop. As we prepare for Robert to go on chemo again, I watch all the people and their lives passing us as we stay stalled. And as the soot of despair covers us and thickens the air, I begin to lose hope. Is there really something there for us to wait for? How long do we wait for it?

But we'd rather wait than be towed away. So we'll wait as long as it takes.

everything changes

dreams are like people
souls without a body
they must be
or else
why would I mourn
when they die?
instead of being buried
their ashes disappear into
the grey clouds of the sky